Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"Oi" is not the first part of "Oink"

Gah. I'm sitting here at my laptop, trying to find a link for some recipe I want on the realsimple.com website, when what do my wondering eyes behold but a television ad for a Stuffed Bear company based in a maple-y North Eastern state... It's the most pig-oriented ad I've seen, standing out in a sea of Valentine's Day cliche's. I cannot believe that someone isn't grousing about this from the feminist camp.

It opens with a bunch of 'Central Casting'- men partitioned in office cubbies all eavesdropping on a group of soft-porn stand-ins for real female office workers gushing over a (stupid) Valentine's Day, 'Zoro'-masked stuffed bear using heavily double-entenre'd adjectives.

"It's bigger than I thought!" is one that stands out. Hahahah. I get it, Beavis.

The women in the commercial are model-perfect, plumped-lip, cooing barbie dolls, and the men are stereotypical skulking lounge lizards, trolling the internet looking for that one item that will give them a 'lock' on that most cherished of Valentine's Night destinations. One of them even makes the 'white man's overbite' face. And this message, conveyed by a child's toy? Great..../sarcasm.

Who do you think still enjoys receiving and giving stuffed toys for Valentine's Day, anyway? I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count. (for those who need a cheat: it's teen-agers.)

As far as I'm concerned, count me in with 'Sheila Kingston'... You want a bulls eye on the 'most romantic' gesture and (almost) guaranteed entrance into that cherished Valentine's Night destination? "Go paint my house!" Forget the flowers, the diamonds, the expensive chocolates (I'll never turn away Dove's Dark, however.) Instead, clean my gutters...or change my oil...or put the kids to bed for a solid week.

Flowers fade, chocolates disappear (with two sneaky daughters, I have a LOT of help with that one), and diamonds ...well, they are pretty cool, actually. But doing something for me that I'd have to pay someone else to do? Timeless....

UPDATE:
Added to the hit list? That Burger King Commercial for the Burger Bites. Uggh.