Oh, the ups and downs of life.
Right now, I'm thoroughly unhappy with my home life... and that fact has almost NOTHING to do with reality. It's because I'm fighting depression, actually.
Anyone who suffers from depression, knows what I'm talking about. I've tried some traditional avenues of help for the tendency toward depression that I've had since I was very small... including counseling, self-medicating with Alcohol, better living through chemistry, sex, and none of it -- including counseling really did anything to stop the depression. I finally came to the conclusion that you know what? --sometimes I just feel bummed. self-destructive. alienated. hopeless.
And that's okay. I do a mental check of when I start feeling it... and when it passes. And, except for a couple of really extraordinary instances, the feelings pass within about three days. And if I'm unable to endure three or four days of drifting, and treading water with occasional points where I feel lucky just to hold my head above water... well, then I must be made of some really weak stuff.
And I know that I'm not. I am strong.
I am a broadcaster... to an unknown audience (-- maybe to no one --) in the middle of a sea of doubt, and fear, and lonliness... and if someone is reading this, and thinking they can't make it... that they're lost... with no hope...
Don't give up; it will pass. You have people who need you -- believe and hold on for them, if for no other reason.
