first days

I've been through this before; I should be jaded and take it in stride this time around. In some ways, I am; the feelings are dulled, a little bit. I've been in the same position before, although with the oldest one, not the youngest. I'm still the same person, repeating half-remembered rituals of pick up and drop off... and yet, this time is so much more poignant. Even though the "shine" may be off the experience, this is the last time I will have this "first."

Today, our baby went to Kindergarten.

(Well... yesterday, actually as I got interrupted while trying to write this.)

She loves it, too. And now that our baby, our youngest, has successfully entered the dawn of her school career, I realize that we are on the downward slope of life -- blink and we'll miss something.

Remember that scene at the end of the movie Parenthood? (love that movie, btw) The scene where Gil and Karen's youngest child has just ruined their daughter's school play? And there is a montage of all the family members enjoying the simulated roller coaster sensation? I never got that. Well, I got it...but with this being the last time I'll send a child off to kindergarten, I finally get a deeper meaning of the whole "roller coaster ride that is life" thing, and it is this:

The slowest part of the ride is also the shortest -- the ascent. When you are up fifteen times a night with a newborn, and bombarded by an endless cascade of diapers and teething, and just get one (reluctantly!) out of diapers when another is on the way... Well, you get the picture; it seems this phase of your life is an eternity, and you wonder if you'll ever get a good night's sleep again... And it does seem like the longest stretch of time in your life... until you get the last one in kindergarten, and before you really clear the sleep (deprivation) from your eyes, you've hit the top of the ascent...

And there is this breathless moment, where time seems to stand still for the tiniest moment... and then WHOOSH! your flinging down the technically longest part of the ride... but it doesn't feel that way because it goes by so damn fast.

I used to shrug off the advice of people who would tell me, "enjoy them while they're little, dear; they will be grown before you know it..." and I'd think, "yeah, yeah; I got it..."

Boy, was I arrogant. Seriously.

Oh, I tried; I did... up until my youngest hit the terrible two's (from which she has yet to emerge, imo.) and from then, everything but this moment has been a blur. I just sent my baby off to kindergarten...

And I feel a... breathless sensation...

Maiden voyage

First time blog....and my mind is a blank. Typical. Too many thoughts, usually. Can't get mental peace enough to fall asleep. Hopefully this will change, as I'm usually un-shut-up-able.